My husband: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or…..?

I am pregnant.

You hopefully know that.

It is a crazy time of life, filled with lots of plans and dreams and hopes and the unknown.

And, I cannot seem to find a single book out there that helps me walk through it into motherhood. This is an aside from my blog post today, but seriously….there are a million books about preparing for birth and the more technical sides of child-rearing (think discipline or breast feeding), but what about a book that walks you through the journey where your life totally changes and you become mom? More importantly, from a Biblically correct and theologically true perspective.

If you know of this book, please, enlighten me.

Now, back to what I really meant to talk about.

I have an incredible husband.
He’s amazing.
He’s wonderful.
He’s a doctor.
He’s busy.

And yet, in all the years thus far as a medical spouse (even  in the middle of 2 grueling months of hospital service and 80 hour work weeks), I have always known I am more important than medicine.
More valuable than his career.
Even when that career is a calling and it takes 80 hours a week.

My hubby does a great job of letting me know that I am more important in words and actions….

And I was thinking today,

What about me?

I am about to become a mom.
I am about to have a small, living being that will need me to survive.
I feel like I have heard so many stories where the child comes along and the husband begins to feel left behind, forgotten, pushed way down on the priority list.

But if my husband, who is working 80 hours a week can manage to make me feel more important than that 80 hour job, how can I make sure that even when there is a small baby that will take up so much time I don’t have much to spend with their father, that he will know he is more important?

Because the truth is – he is.
Not in value or worth, but in priority.
My husband should always be a higher priority than my kids.

My question for you today is – how do you communicate to your husband that he is more important to you than anyone else?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Finding joy in the journey,
~ Melissa



2 responses to this post.

  1. Love this post! Makes me miss you, friend. I’m not pregnant. I don’t have children. So, that will be a whole new ball game. But, for now, I replay the words of a godly woman I love and respect. She told me, “remember that its his marriage too.” When I get too focused on what I want, I try to imagine what would make this a really great marriage for Chris. When we have kids, I think the challenge will be to remind myself to keep doing the things I did before the kids were in the picture. And… you’re going to be a wonderful mom! Those are some blessed children!


  2. Posted by Jennifer Clark on October 14, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    I won’t lie, Mel. It’s hard. Especially during the first year. At least it was for me. Your personality may handle it better than mine did, but I tried starting with the really little things. Like making him feel welcome when he came home. Like trying my best to have a clean home (or at least picked up) for him to return to. Like speaking his love language.

    And although it has gotten easier as Christopher has gained more independence, it’s still challenging. But you are right when you say that your husband should always be above your kids on the priority list. A strong marriage is the foundation for a strong family.

    You will do well because it’s your heart’s desire to be a good wife to Joel. And when you fail, God’s grace will cover you.


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