Marriage: worth fighting for

Marriage is wonderful.
Marriage is hard.

Marriage is….
worth fighting for .

This is a core belief that you must have in order to have a marriage that thrives.

In today’s world of divorce and “dead” marriages (where  the spouses live together in a work relationship, without growing together in friendship and love), the lie that marriage isn’t worth fighting for is all around us.

A few nights ago, my darling and I had a pretty “off” night. We couldn’t seem to connect – he was stressed and distant; I was tired and grumpy.
The next morning he got up to go to work and it ended up snowing almost a foot…and he was “stuck” at work.

Or so I thought.

“I may try to come home. We aren’t okay and I’m not okay with leaving you alone…”

And so he drove the icy streets, parked a half mile away, and trekked through snow up to his knees to come home to me.

Because we are worth fighting for.
Because even the little distances aren’t worth it in the end.

And he won my heart, and we melted into each other with words of apology and a renewed sense of love.

When life pulls you in endless directions apart from each other, this has to be a belief that you hold tightly onto.
Our marriage is worth fighting for.

Even if the fight looks like trekking through snow.
Or having the conversation that hurts.
Or choosing the other person over convenience.

And so you take the hand of the one you love again…
and walk into grace.

And that will be the foundation to every other choice you make.


6 responses to this post.

  1. This is true on so many levels. Marriage is the most intense human experience we have! No one tells you how hard it will be, but no one else can express how rewarding it is to get to the end of a really hard day and have someone by your side who loves you and cares deeply for you. Thanks for sharing.


  2. Posted by Heather J on February 2, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    So so so true. We completely agree and have seen this truth in our marriage so many times 🙂


  3. Posted by David on February 6, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    Joel walks through snow for love of his wife = Joel is my hero. We miss you guys greatly. Thanks for continuing to put your spouse first and for not settling for mediocrity. Life together is a beautiful adventure!


  4. Posted by Nicholas Kyanda on February 13, 2011 at 5:06 am

    Good to see that you are well. Used to visit your dad’s church in Kenya. Was also good to see you when you came to visit the dream center. I really like the picture with the green leaves in the background…the colors are so rich…and the symbolism of the hands. Any reason why you seem to like to get pictures of couples without their faces?


  5. Posted by Kate on September 2, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    Thank you so much. After having an “off” night with my darling medical spouse, I am having a very rough day. I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog while searching outward for ideas of how to communicate with him and inward for faith. We’re only a year into our marriage and only a month into rotations. Along the way, there have been some tough days and poor attitudes, which makes it all the more heartwarming and encouraging to come across someone like you. ::hugs and thanks::


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