Archive for November, 2012

New directions

Hello all,

I just wanted to write a quick note to let everyone know that I am going to be temporarily shutting down my writing on this blog. I am taking a season to evaluate where I am at in my writing, what direction I want to go and how I want to spend my energy as a young mom. I debated taking the blog down, but I think I will leave it up for now. There may come a time in the future that I completely rework it, but for now I will leave it where it is at for anyone who may come to see it.

Hoping you all are well and praying that there will be a time for writing in the direction and with the energy my heart so desires in the future.

On a quest for joy in the journey,
~ Melissa

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Important…or urgent?

I am generally a social, outgoing person. But I have found that with two kids and a busy husband, my life can get caught up in the crazy life of just trying to keep up with the urgent needs around me. Eisenhower spoke truth when he said, “Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things which are important are not urgent.”

For me, this means that I get caught up with chores, with appointments, with bills and schedules. I forget people, relationships, laughter, rest. I forget to open my doors and spend time connecting my heart.
Today I was honored to have a house full of kids. There was a lot of chaos, laughter and messes. A few tears. Some coffee. It was perfect. I let go of the “urgent” (I really need to clean my bedroom) and did what was truly important.

It isn’t always possible to ignore the cleaning – in fact, it can sometimes be the important thing. But most often it is playing with your child, or opening your home, or being brave enough to ask someone for help, or making tea and skyping a friend.

I urge you today to ask yourself – “What has my attention and time? Is it the urgent or is it the important?”

~ Melissa

Escape v. Rest

If you are a medical wife, or the wife of anyone with a crazy schedule, then you know how precious “down time” can be. This month is especially busy for my husband, and this past weekend was the first days off he had since the month started. Not to mention that he has been getting home no earlier than 6 (and often around 10) each night of the week. And did I mention the 5am wake-up time? Suffice it to say, it was really precious to have time together.

One thing I have noticed, however, is that whenever my husband and I have down time, we can often find ways to escape the busyness of life. For us, escape is usually found in the form of mindless entertaiment. TV shows or movies. We sit side by side and engage in another plot that is not our own. And while it does give our brains a few hours of relief, we have both found that our hearts are not refreshed afterwards. Because here is the truth – escape does not equal rest.

This past weekend we sat down and made a list of all the things we needed and wanted to do with our weekend. He had charts to catch up on. I needed to kick some laundry in the booty. I wanted some alone time. He wanted to catch up on sleep. We both wanted to initiate our outdoor fire pit. We also wanted to catch up on our current TV show, but as we put together our wants and needs, we saw that the TV show would definintly need to be the last thing on our list if we were to try and have a truly restful weekend. So he worked on charts during our girls naps, and I folded clothes while he distracted our toddler. And then, instead of zoning out to the television, we wrapped ourselves up in blankets and lit a fire. We talked about our future – about our hearts post-residency and the dreams that brought us together. And when our heads hit the pillows, we felt rested and connected.

So what am I saying? I am saying that you need to watch out for the things in your life that are escape but not rest. And it doesn’t mean you can’t do them (we actually did squeeze in a movie one night), but it means that when you do them you recognize that at it will not put your heart at rest – that it won’t connect you to your spouse. You recognize that at the end of whatever it is you will have disconnected from stress, but not necessarily connected to life.

Your marriage isn’t mine. So movies & TV might truly be restful for you. But it might be helpful to ask yourself, how do I try to escape stress? What are ways I can rest with & connect to my spouse rather than just retreat into escape mechanisms? Perhaps it might behove you to turn off the TV and light a fire. You don’t even have to have a deep conversation. Just get some tea and think of fun memories. Laugh. Stay silent. Hold hands. Connect.

Find joy in the journey,
~ Melissa

Refocus

Sometimes it takes a month of doing something to realize that you aren’t pursuing your heart. Last month I completed 25 posts during my 31 Days to making a home series. And I heard from many of you that it was encouraging and motivating. And I am glad. But as I was writing I couldn’t help but think that writing about a homemaking binder wasn’t the reason I started this blog. My heart is to write mostly about marriage and family, and specifically marriage to a doctor. Especially in my time as a medical student’s wife, I found myself lonely and discouraged by the journey I found myself on. I heard so much negativity about my marriage and future. I needed a ray of hope. And I am writing to share my experiences and be that ray of hope to others.

It is my goal to try and post twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays – so feel free to check in on those days. I am excited as I have a few posts that have been in my heart for a while. You will hopefully forgive me, as well, if my posts aren’t very picture-heavy. I love photography and editing, but with two littles at home it is quite a challenge sometimes to find the time to edit. So I am releasing myself from the burden of always having a pretty picture, or one that “matches” the subject I am writing about.

I hope you continue with me on this journey. I am looking forward to it.

~ Melissa