Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Day 13: A real place

When I was considering what I valued in a home, one of the first things that came to me was that home is a safe place. While I think this is something that most people would echo this sentiment, today I want to ask the question “Safe from what?”

As I was pondering my own home, there were several things I wanted to guard my home from. I will be talking about these over the next few days, but today I will be talking about making my home a real place.

What does it mean to me for my home to be real?

1. My real home is safe from the barrage of media
While the Internet & TV can both be great blessings and a lot of fun, our world is a barrage of  media. Without even meaning to we can get sucked into a virtual world and disconnect from the real world. I have written before how I am saying Goodbye to the internet. I recently read a wonderful blog post about helping balance screen time in the home, and I think she has some incredible ideas on how to make your home safe.

2. My real home is full of real things
I know that the Kindle is the ever popular reader (and we do own one). But there is nothing like turning the pages of a real book. I want my home to be a place full of real books. I want it to be full of real conversations, and real touch. I want us to look at each other in the eyes over real food at the dinner table. Real food made with as many ingredients that are as fresh as possible.

I hope you will beging to think about what you want your home to be safe from. Once we know specifically what we are trying to build, it is easier to make a plan to get there. General goals are so hard to reach.

Happy Saturday!

~ Melissa

Click here to see a list of all previous 31 Days of Making a Home posts

Thoughts on the coming of a child

I am almost 39 weeks pregnant with our second born. I cannot wait to meet her!
I have been thinking this morning about the process of birth; what it
means to me as a mom and woman, and the amazing picture it is of
things so much larger and bigger and mysterious that I hesitate to
tread on that holy ground.
This time has already been so different than my first. With little
girl my water broke at 38+4 and I had to be induced because my labor
didn’t start quick enough. I had so desperately wanted a
medication-free birth, and pretty much everything that happened in
that story was 180 degrees from what I had hoped and even prayed for.

So here I am preparing for the second. I am having braxton hicks and
lower back pain and nausea and all the things I never had with the
first. Including the ultra-long days and the constant feeling of “is
this it? Am I starting?” In that way I feel like a first-time mom.
What I find the most interesting, however, is my feelings regarding
the process my heart and body are about to undergo.

With the first, I had very specific wishes and dreams. When they
didn’t happen, I was sucked into a vortex of “why?”. With this little
one, I find myself full of hopes and dreams still, but clinging to
them a little looser this time around. With the first one I was
nervous about the pain – would I be able to handle it? This time I
haven’t even thought that much about it, and when I do, I am much less
worried. With the first I thought that a medication-free labor was the
“best” way and I probably looked down on anyone who would choose
otherwise (just in my head, of course). With this one, I find myself
saying things like “Each woman’s story is her own and is precious.”

So what happened?

This little girl. My amazing first-born.
I realized the incredible value and precious gift of a child. And
suddenly birth became a whole lot less about me and a whole
lot more about this precious baby. I cling less loosely to my hopes
and plans for birth because whatever happens, I know the value of that
little life. So yes, I will probably be more willing to consider medical
intervention because it’s not about me. With this one I am not nearly
as concerned about the pain because I know the “joy that is set before
me”. I know the moment when I see that little one and fall completely
in love. It’s worth it.

And really, isn’t that just a picture of exactly how our lives are
molded, fashioned and “birthed” in the  Kingdom? We have our picture
of what we want, or how we want our process to look, or what we want
our timing to be. But it so rarely looks like that, doesn’t it? We
have ideas in our head of what the “right way” is for a process to
happen, but then we experience something so divinely different we just
have to throw up our hands in surrender and say “Your will be done.”

And at the end of the day we realize that every person’s process is
imperfect. Broken. Personal. Full of disappointments and joys. But
that the end result, “when we see Him, we shall be like Him”, is
worth the journey. The prize is so much greater than the
process. So we endure the process, we embrace the journey for the joy
set before us. We don’t despise someone else’s journey, we don’t
dangerously compare ourselves amongst ourselves. We accept whatever
cup we are asked to drink, even if it means that we drink from one we
didn’t ask for, or even want.

The funny thing about what I am facing with my second-born is that in
some ways I am embracing a more unusual journey. My incredible husband
has allowed us to pursue a home birth. We have an incredible midwife &
wonderful team that will help. I am excited to once again attempt a
medication-free birth. But, more than anything, I can’t wait to meet
my baby girl. To hold her in my arms and fall in love. She is worth
whatever it takes.

I pray that I will always be a woman
whose words and heart are full of grace for anyone else’s journey. For the
unexpected that someone else might face.
And that, my friends, is my thoughts on the coming of a child, and (in some small way) the coming of age of our hearts.

Still in the journey,
~ Melissa

The journey to dedication

Sometimes, I really try to write something grand and distant.
But I can’t – I can only write when something is in my heart at that moment. The posts from my head never turn out quite as good.

Over the last few months I have been wrestling with the idea of God’s goodness. There is so much that can seem not good about life. Pain I have experienced or dark places where it seems He hasn’t shown up. It can feel like God’s sovereignty is out to get me. That His plan for my life always points towards breaking & molding. That His good plan will always include my pain.

This little girl changes everything.

Yesterday I ran into several stories (in books and online) that happened to talk about the deaths of babies. One was in a memoir I started reading about Rwanda, the other on a blog that I can’t read without loving Christ more. Both of the times I read these accounts, my throat ached.
In a few months, my darling husband and I will stand in front of people I love and we will dedicate our little one to the Lord.

We will tell Him, “We give her to You.”
But when I read accounts of the unthinkable – my heart doubts.
My pain is one thing…but my darling little girl?

I was talking with my own mother a few weeks ago about this.
“The real question”, she said, “is a question of trust.”

Ah, yes. That’s it – do I trust Him?
With my life. With my journey. With my husband and our calling.
With my darling daughter.

Do you see why this question is crucial?  Because when I stand up to dedicate my little girl to the Lord, I want to have really wrestled through what I am doing. I want to really say to Him, “I trust You. I trust Your goodness. She is Yours.”

What about you? Where are you wrestling right now? I pray that You do, in fact, wrestle. And that you come out on the other side with a deeper and truer theology that can stand the test of time.

On a journey,
~ Melissa

A wife’s role: guarding the peace of my home

My little girl was three weeks old yesterday.

The first two weeks were a breeze. The last one has become increasingly more difficult. Although she is not “officially” diagnosed yet (there is a rule of 3 hours, at least 3 days a week, for 3 weeks) – she is leaning heavily towards becoming a colicky baby.
And it breaks my heart.

The last several nights she has cried for several hours, and by “cried”, I mean screamed…with real little tears on her face.

As we have added the role of “parent” to our lives, my dearest husband and  I have asked ourselves what our roles look like now. Even though we have almost 5 years of marriage under our belt (thank goodness!), things are different now that we have a little soul in our charge.

Photo Credit

Today, I awoke to an absolutely wrecked house. Dishes piled high, laundry that needed to be done, and a husband headed into a full day of work. When Makena finally went down for a mid-morning nap (after another bout of her screaming-cry), I went to the Lord. My heart needed to hear Him. He knows us. He knows my daughter. He knows my heart and my house.
I can read 100 books and blogs, but no one can answer my questions like He can.

After spending a few quiet moments with Him, I got up revived. I spent her nap time straightening the house and realized that as a wife it is my responsibility to guard the peace of our home. For me (today), that meant several things:
1. Spend time with the Lord
2. Clean the dishes
3. Fold the laundry
4. Do a quick pick-up of our home
5. Brainstorm with the Lord about our daughter’s new symptoms & how to help her.

While I don’t think that this list is a rule book of what it looks like the guard the peace of your home, the question to all of you women is – what does it look like for you, today?
I fully believe the the husband is the head of the home, and in his own way is called to guard it’s peace. But I am here everyday – I choose how clean it will be (for the most part), how peaceful it will feel, and what the routines and pace of our home life will look like.

Today, fighting to guard our peace looked like this:

Photo credit

How are you called to guard your home today?

Blog Links for a Momma’s heart

Hello all!

Having a small one changes everything. In the best way possible.
I am loving every minute with my tiny little girl, and I cannot imagine life without her.
Her dad & I are doing awesome. We had our first date night last night (hamburgers from a restaurant and a movie at home). It is vital to keep your second priorities, second (after Christ).

I thought I would share with you guys a few links that have been either a blessing or interesting to this mom over the last few days.

Displaying Kid’s Art on Momformation Blog
This blog is written by another favorite blogger family of mine, but this one is especially about living with kids & how they approach it. Although little Makena isn’t drawing yet, this was such a fun idea & I think possible to even make?

Communing Daily with the Lord as a Mother by Passionate Homemaking
This is true for anyone, regardless of being a mother or not, but it was a challenge to me.

How to Just Keep Breathing by A Holy Experience
One of my favorite bloggers of all time. Such a beautiful written work about birth and raising a child.

I hope you guys enjoy these links.
I will be back soon with some new thoughts on being married to a doctor and having a baby 🙂

Enjoying every minute of the journey,
~ Melissa

Internet + pregnancy = ?

Hi all,

This post won’t be too long, but I wanted to let everyone know that my silence is due to this formula:

Internet + pregnancy = nausea

I am hoping this improves once I hit the 2nd trimester. I have so much I want to tell you guys about, but no stomach for it…

2nd trimester starts next week, so I hope to be back SOON.

In the meantime, you may all comfort yourselves with some of my older posts.

Hope you are enjoying your journey!
~ Melissa

With Child

I have been silent for a very long time.

It’s because I have been growing one of these:

And, that, my friends….has been hard work.

But I am hitting 12 weeks and feeling so much better. So I thought I would annouce our good news to the world & get back to the blogging that I love so much!

I will be back very soon with lots more exciting adventures from the Dr.’s wife.

Enjoying the journey!
~ Melissa